W not angry any more and wants to work on the M

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Lan, Retrovaille, MC, etc. work best if both are on the same plain. At any rate these things are very "iffy" and in addition if she's not "ready" it could backfire. The big plus is she now wants to work on the R/M. So you may want to start "light" with something "educational" like CDs, videos, books, courses, etc. to get her going and until you discover where exactly to put the effort. and it may well be communication. Try poking around here for info: http://www.smartmarriages.com