Fran,

ADD manifests differently in different people. I have always had those memory problems and my mother has the same issues. My reading comprehension has always been poor. Based on my IQ score, I should have scored about 200 points higher than I did on the verbal portion of the SAT, for example. He found a huge disparity between what I could remember and what I should have been able to remember based on IQ.

I don't have high distractibility, which is common with ADD.

I would do very poorly on the word memory game too and probably much better with the pictures. I've never had a photographic memory.

Here's one part of the testing that was wierd. One of the tests involved him reading numbers to me at what seemed to be a fairly slow pace, maybe with a 1 second pause in between numbers. He started with pairs of numbers, then sets of 3, sets of 4, all the way to sets of 8. Bizarrely, I recited back every set correctly. It was difficult, but somehow I was able to keep track of all the numbers. He said I'm the only one he's ever tested who got them all, and he's tested thousands of people. Then he did it all over again with new sets of numbers, and I had to recite those backwards. I got almost all of those, too. My brain must process numbers differently than words.

This was quite a battery of tests that left me mentally exhausted because I was trying so hard to focus. Some tests were timed; some were not.

Your description of the pictures in your head is interesting. I'm not sure that I do that, but I am quite visual. I hate reading directions to assemble things, but if I've got very detailed diagrams, I do very well, for example, with those Playmobil toys. The words totally trip me up. When the dr. started reading the first paragraph to me I felt that exact same panicky feeling as when I'm trying to listen to cac when he's talking about a technical topic. I'm still trying to commit that first sentence to memory and he's finished with the second one and on to the third. So at that point my brain starts to shut down and I get only a few key words.

I also had read that IQ can mask ADD, which I believe is exactly what happened with me. I did solid college prep work and was no trouble to anyone. I was quiet, I took good notes, and I did what I was supposed to do. I was the classic good girl. I tested well enough and I was a good writer. And today, girls like me are still falling through the cracks because unlike their ADHD counterparts, they're quiet and they don't attract attention.

College wasn't overly difficult for me because I picked a major based on my strengths (music). My experience would have been completely different had I decided to major in math!

Bottom line is that I was not able to reach my full potential because of this deficiency. That makes me feel sad because of all the years I beat myself up, but it also makes me feel hopeful, as I look forward.

I'm sure that peri/menopause is already playing a role. I had a lot of memory issues when I was pregnant, too. I need to read up on it.

You know, maybe I needed the dopamine rush too. I always functioned better at work when I had a few things going. I remember part time jobs where I was bored to tears because of the pace. I have a long history of tardiness, and I always sensed that I got a rush from rushing to finish something or get somewhere. However, I do have a tendency to get overwhelmed too, so it depends on the stimulation.

Interesting comments about your mom. One of the reasons that ADD is so difficult for women is because they are usually responsible for managing things like the household, the children's activities, even their bosses schedules and so forth, if they are secretaries. Men with ADD are more likely to have these things taken care of by someone else.

Your mom sounds exactly like me regarding the house. My house is often messy and disorderly, but I know how I would LIKE it be. I truly wish I could just shrug it off. When we belonged to a playgroup, I managed to have the group over a few times out of obligation, really, but I truly dreaded it, and felt a huge sense of relief when they left. Entertaining people in my home is very draining for me, even though I'm sociable enough (for an introvert) and enjoy visiting other people, attending parties, etc.