Your H agreed to take it slow, so did you remind him of that, and discuss your previous feelings about how you felt used? Maybe he would be more understanding if you talked it out, but in a calm, friendly way not upset or angry or accusing, but just telling him how you feel?
Also, that is a shame that he won't get counseling or AD's. I think if that is a dealbreaker for you, like that you won't continue the relationship without one or both, that you should at least tell him that. For example, my H decided to get involved with his OW and divorce without telling me that things he was unhappy about me were dealbreakers, and I think that is unfair, and if you are unhappy enough to divorce over something you should tell the person straight out so they have the choice of getting ADs or counseling or not, rather than losing the marriage, if you feel that is a dealbreaker to you. My H said well, I didn't think you would agree to these changes, but now it's too late, I'm in love with the OW! And I've made every single change he wanted!!!Karen43
