Thanks for the update, ntl. I've been wondering how it's going for you & H. It sounds very positive, like you are coming back from a tough experience together, both of you working very hard.
Originally Posted By: ntl
BTW...anyone ever had any experience with Rational Recovery?
This rings a bell with me, I might have run across this when I was doing research into SA. Is it a commercial program, ntl? This is my own bias speaking here, but generally I shy away from these although I know they probably do some good for some people -- but at a price -- and the knowledge is already in the public realm. What does your SA therapist have to say about it?
'Addiction' is an interesting topic to reflect on. It's a medical term with a specific narrow definition -- in medical parlance, 'addiction' is to a substance to which the person develops a 'tolerance', so that higher and higher doses of the substance are required in order to achieve the same 'high'. Tolerance is the reason why alcoholics end up taking in so much alcohol that they develop liver failure, and why hard drug addicts end by taking a lethal dose of the drug. This is something to think about when you & H are wondering if he's really SA, really addicted to the dopamine high.
But even if he isn't, I can't help but think that the SA meeting structure is being helpful to H. It gives him the experience of having significant sharing relationships with men, instead of having emotional needs met by OW, and of being in both a learning and a compassionate place with men. Also, I couldn't help but wonder about the idea of you attending the SA group for wives of SA, just as a way of sharing the experience with H, of entering his world and demonstrating to him that you are willing to enter his world. It could be very healing.
