Last night - in a bid to find out what would make my H more satisfied with our SL I asked him how often he would like us to 'make out' and he said everyday. I feel under so much pressure now. I want to be there for him but it takes me nearly a week after sex to feeled fired up enough for more. I fear that if I cannot live up to his expectations he won't give up cyber sex. Can anyone offer me any suggestions?
Working at it.........
Me 37 H 41 1S 18 1D 13 Married for 17 years (together 20)
Ask him whether he thinks that he "needs" for you to be sexually turned on, and in it for yourself every time... or whether he most needs you to show him that you care about him.
If so, then maybe you can show him that you "care about him", even if you are not sexually turned on all the time.
how would that sound to you, if he agrees to it?
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
I don't think he needs for me to be turned on, if I just satisfy him orally or MB him he would be happy enough. I would like for my mind set to be into it too.
I just panicked - going from once a week to everyday just feels like a huge leap for me but it is a leap I need to make.
Is it normal for a man to relieve himself everyday?
Razorback
Working at it.........
Me 37 H 41 1S 18 1D 13 Married for 17 years (together 20)
Is it normal for a man to relieve himself everyday?
yes.
Quote:
I would like for my mind set to be into it too.
what does "into it" mean to you?
If he asked you to give him a back rub every day for 10 minutes, would you do it happily? Particularly if he had a "sore back" or something, and it helped him feel better?
If so, then maybe think about why this would be any different for you?
Last edited by Dom R; 02/05/0805:17 PM.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
Is it normal for a man to relieve himself everyday?
Yes. For women, too.
How about just agreeing to "make out" every day-- what I call "NHK" (Naked Horizontal Kissing)-- and see where it leads? I do get your anxiety... can you get yourself up to that level every day... but if you start out with actually making out (petting, kissing, etc.) then both of you can get you to that level, kwim?
Is it normal for a man to relieve himself everyday?
yes.
Quote:
I would like for my mind set to be into it too.
what does "into it" mean to you?
If he asked you to give him a back rub every day for 10 minutes, would you do it happily? Particularly if he had a "sore back" or something, and it helped him feel better?
If so, then maybe think about why this would be any different for you?
Excellent comparison Dom R - that's helped loads. Thank you.
Working at it.........
Me 37 H 41 1S 18 1D 13 Married for 17 years (together 20)
Is it normal for a man to relieve himself everyday?
Yes. For women, too.
How about just agreeing to "make out" every day-- what I call "NHK" (Naked Horizontal Kissing)-- and see where it leads? I do get your anxiety... can you get yourself up to that level every day... but if you start out with actually making out (petting, kissing, etc.) then both of you can get you to that level, kwim?
Thanks Lillieperl - I will try that.
Razorback
Working at it.........
Me 37 H 41 1S 18 1D 13 Married for 17 years (together 20)
speaking from someone who has a H with a very high sex drive, I know he relieves himself everyday, Your H isn't the only one, and although it may not be normal for you, it is for them.
My H has been like this for as long as i've been with him. Don't let that bother you at all. I was upset by it at first, because I wanted to know why he wasn't turning to me instead.. his answer was he didn't want to bother me everyday about it.. which I wouldn't have been bothered, but with the kids and just the craziness, it is just easier sometimes when he is alone in the shower or something.. I just tell him to think of me..
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I don't mind him relieving himself daily and using porn isn't a problem for me but it's the fact he also uses adult sites to contact women for sexual chat in order to get off which causes me sleepless nights.
I just wasn't sure if his need for daily relief was as a result of these sites.
As I have obviously been neglecting this side of our relationship I guess there is no wonder he has done what he does.
Thanks for the support.
Razorback
Working at it.........
Me 37 H 41 1S 18 1D 13 Married for 17 years (together 20)
