I'm sorry you're feeling down. It's a tough place, where you're at. To me, the one year mark is a big milestone for DBers. If you can make it to that point, which you have, the next 6 months aren't so bad. It's as if you've committed yourself to surviving your H's MLC, which has yet to show any signs of ending, and the energy you put in to having patience for him is wearing you down. Just remember that even if you have committed yourself to your M and through this crisis, you are always entitled to change your mind. Get back to that place where you feel like you are in control.
As for having the talk with H - do you know what you want? I highly suggest that if you are still unsure about it, don't have the talk. You will get nothing out of it, if your H is anything like mine. I've pretty much decided that if I initiate any R talk with H from here on out, it will be with D papers in my hand.
YOU WILL NOT GET THE ANSWERS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR FROM YOUR H.
He's just not ready.
If you have things to say, write them down. Write letters to H that he will never read. Write emails and save them as drafts that will never be sent. Do it for yourself. Decide if you no longer want to stand first. You're decision to stand or not to stand should be totally independent of whatever it is your H is doing.
I really believe that we come back stronger after each low we hit. You'll see after this passes.
