Another new topic! already? Here we go

[LoginName]

I can't think of anything to say to that, Cat. I hear you. IF she wouldn't have showed up again, if he wouldn't have lied, if he had the strength to do what he should, it could have worked out.

It could have. It still could. People without regrets have no imagination, eh?

I hope your doing well today. I'll have to find where you're posting these days

[cat03]

hey there, hope you are doing well too, I feel much lighter, not because I like being S, but because I dont' have to deal with the anxiety of "what he's thinking" or "where is he (when he was late)" while he was home.

I actually decided to stay here in the piecing board and continue to be a nuisance to all you guys, lol, so I have a new thread

[JAK58]

[/quote] because I dont' have to deal with the anxiety of "what he's thinking" or "where is he (when he was late)" while he was home. [quote]

Why is it that we still get anxious over what they are thinking when we are supposed to be detached. I think it makes it harder when you are piecing to detach from all of the moodiness and them being so quiet. What is hard for me is knowing that H is never going to bring anything up as he just wants it to disappear. His body language tells me he still has a ways to go as far as connection to me although he is trying think.

ps: I posted to cat on here as her thread is locked

JAK

[cat03]

as he just wants it to disappear
===================
You said it, that's all my H wanted to do, be far away, even another state (well, he technically lives in another state now, lol) but I hear you, it's the "I can't take it anymore, earth, swallow me whole!" thinking.

You guys are together and he wants his M, he is just having a hard time finding his way, doesn't really know how the R will work, prob is pretty scared.
Got a new thread, you are welcome to come by

[cat03]

Hijack
There might be the posibility H is looking at my thread, so I'm posting this here. Tonight I found stuff on his computer which makes me wonder whyen in the hell is this man going to learn a damn thing.
Yesterday he created a fake doc from his old lawyer about "his estranged wife claiming he cohabited Nov 8 and that they had to discuss the matter" Obviously another ruse to convince ow we are truly separated and there is a lawyer involved. Also he tried a month ago to make a fake separation agreement, I think he stop because if he fakes a signature he knows he will be sunk if found out. Lies and lies and nothing but lies. He is one big big lie, lost to anything good, and that really hurts, he is up to his chin is SH*T, and still thinks it's ok....

I was actully thinking of saying I missed him and to reach out to him a little, hell no, not anymore. He's still in "me" mode, he's going to have to do a major 180 if he ever decides to ask to come back, I don't even know how I'm going to believe him IF he does... and that is a huge if...

how pathetic

[Aud31]

Oh Cat--yuk. I was going to post on your thread earlier...about how you were noticing so many little ways you were trying to control the sitch. FYI, I did/do that too, and I'm proud of you for noticing the dynamic--now you can do something about it. Seriously, it's time to cut him loose and let him swing on his own for a while. It will definitely take a while.

((hugs))

[LoginName]

Cat, Hijack this thread as much and whenever you like.

I'm loosing any sympathy I had for your H. Let him have his OW and there crazy life. He deserves it. Maybe it's like a drug addict. You can hate the sin and still love the sinner. But in loving the sinner, you don't have to sink with him, or enable him.

I could hide stuff on a computer so you wouldn't find it. It's not that hard. He's not very computer literate, is he?

But!!! You've still got this great adventure/journey to go on! Your life. Learning about yourself, filling your life up, experiencing it, owning it, enjoying it. We are so lucky to be here, on earth, and have this opportunity to see, live, grow. The pains part of it. Face it with a positive attitude. Don't forget, even during the pain, to see how beautiful life is, how great your kids are, how the sunset looks. It's all still there, for you.

[LoginName]

Cat, I gave this a subject line that will help others find your postings. You can post under here if you want. Your H wouldn't look here, would he? Hope this helps.

[cat03]

glad to hear you from you guys, stuff like this I'll post elsewhere, the rest I'll still post on my thread, just in case...
I think most likely it is over with ow, he just can't tell the truth nor come clean, he still wants to leave that R spotless and supposedly he was looking for a "reason" to break it off permanetly (the sex contract) and now that he has it he'll use that to push her for good he said one day. Yea, how noble, doesn't have the b@lls to just say he has a good family to work for.
He thinks he can fool me, he gave those docs weird names under another innocent looking folder. Pretty pathetic, he had made a copy of her parking permit too, there was a xmas card he prob meant to give her before I found him out.
Oh, and I got to see what I never saw before: separation papers from that year he left. he was really going to screw me over, making me think it was just a formality, the separation papers clearly state that I would forfeit any support from him, that that separation was mutual, etc etc. That info gives me the resolve to make sure I protect myself very well if we end up S/D, that I wont' leave any loopholes nor give in if it will affect my kids and I in any way.

Yep, I'm in for a long haul, this man needs to grow up, in the meantime I will be happy with my kids and stop expecting anything from him.

[cat03]

awwwww, thanks, my own mini hijack tread, can't better than this! he he