Unrequited Love...

[bhopeful]

Thanks Jenny. It does mean something to me to hear you say that. I love you too. I love all of you here. You've become an extended family of sorts that I can count on through the darkest times.

I do feel like we're still connected and that she cares about me. Otherwise, why would she stick around all evening and then spend the night. Let alone change in front of me, hold my hand, want me to sit with her on the couch, run her fingers through my hair, hug and hold me, cry with me, tell me she doesn't want to lose me from her life, etc...

I agree with the cake eating though. And that she wants freedom to explore her feeling for OM. Although it does sound like she wishes that she could just get rid of them too.

I'm confused as to what to do with the going dark. Part of me thinks that I need to woo her and really try to win her back. The OM and her were dating right up until her and I started dating. So if I stole her away once, maybe I can do it again... I know that's not likely though and even if it did work she would still have feelings for him that she needs to work through. So I guess that I have to sit back and wait. I don't think that I'm going to go completely dark, but I'm most likely not going to contact her first and I will make myself less available. I'm scared to do this, but I think it may be my only option.

It's hard to believe that she's going to throw away 10+ years of being with me to explore something she felt for a couple months when she was a teenager. Part of me thinks that she's reverting back to her teenage years by the actions and attitudes that she taken...