Piecin' for a Reason

[ntl]

Hi all,

Another update...

Things are still moving along. H and I are working very hard at communicating. We had an incident this weekend before our Super Bowl party regarding something silly (isn't it always?!) that we just couldn't see eye-to-eye on. Our typical pattern: He makes a statement, I take a differing position. He says, fine, we'll do it your way. I feel bad and say fine we'll do it your way. Meanwhile, we're both attached to our original positions. We just decide not to fight it for fear of making the other mad or looking like the bad guy.

This time we had a breakthrough, though. We were able to talk about the root of what resulted in our different positions was, and we were able to find common ground. We talked it over, made a decision, and the rest of the day was salvaged with no hurt feelings, no upset, and a renewed sense of togetherness.

I have to say, H has been really impressing me with his desire to really get to the root of himself and his (as he calls them) demons. He's been going to individual C and joint C, he's been doing the regular SAA meetings every Tues. and the 9 month intensive SAA workshop every Thurs. He's been really focusing on getting his heart and soul right and living the values he says he's always had, but lost sight of.

You know, appleroad shared a story with me that got me to do a lot of research, and got H to do a lot of thinking. He doesn't really believe he has a true addiction like many of the members do, but he does feel he turned to porn, chat line, A's to meet some need he had for immediate gratification. And because he found that those things were easy ways to hit that dopamine receptor and get that high feeling, they certainly became a tool he turned to. So, it was a compulsion for sure, but not sure it is an addiction. H does feel that he's getting something good out of these sessions, so he keeps going. He feels the chance to really look at himself is a good enough reason.

Anyway, things are still moving along well.

BTW...anyone ever had any experience with Rational Recovery? Just wondering...

Regards,

ntl