I did post to the newcomers' forum first-- I think. I'll have to check to be sure. Afterward I thought perhaps I ought to have gone straight to the forum re: what I thought was the main cause of the D, MLC.
I'm so sorry you-- and everybody else here-- is having to deal with this sh*t too. My husband is also unhappy w/self, is very depressed but has stopped taking his antidepressants because they make him "fat and muzzy-headed." Like yours, my husband thinks dumping me will somehow magically solve all his problems, but of course that hasn't turned out to be the case-- I know for a fact he is not having much fun right now. I am very worried about him-- I want him to be okay no matter what happens-- but my opinion doesn't carry much weight with him anymore, so there's not really anything I can do to help him.
Good luck to you. I don't think you are wrong to keep trying if that's what you want-- I see a lot of people here have been DBing a lot longer than 2 months, many eventually with excellent results. I know what I want-- H back-- but at this late date I fear that's not a realistic expectation. But I will try DB and see what happens. If all I get out of it is a relatively friendly divorce and some closure, even that would be a big bonus.
