with strength and hope4

[short1]

You may have been broken, but you know that the only person who can fix you is you.

Yes. In fact one of my pet theories about my marriage is I began that fixing well before the affair. I think my H was happier when I was more broken. Basically I was willing to wrap my life around his needs. Opps, shame on me. As I got older and learned more I was less and less willing to play that role. Now I can't go back.

My only hope in all this is my H would have to decide to actually break out of his own victim role. He is in that abuser/victim place. He sees himself as the victim, but is actually causing harm to others and he doesn't see it. He likes the control at this point. He is pretty much your run of the mill narcissist.