Tired and giving up

[LuvMyHusband]

Hi everyone,
I need some advice. I'm having a low day. What's new right? My H and I have had some superficial moments but nothing more. He doesn't text, email or call me voluntarily. I do have to admit that I told him something else about a month ago that happened several years ago when I had my break down. It did hurt him and I know he is struggling with it. It's hell because he totally blames me for ruining our marriage with what I did several years ago and not being honest about it. No, he does not see how he hasn't been honest either.

Anyway, he is supposed to be coming home this weekend to see the kids. It's been 5 weeks since he was last here. He originally blamed the drive but when he was offered a free ticket to fly, he wouldn't accept it. Obviously he is depressed and doesn't want to deal with me.

This is my quandary. One one hand I want to be here. I feel that I need to try to atone for the pain I have caused him. That means putting mine on the backburner. But, he doesn't really seem to accept my apologies and attempts to make things right with him.

I'm thinking of leaving for the time that he is here to give him time and space with the kids. I also could use a break. I asked him once before if it would help if I left when he was here so that he would see the kids more often and he said no. I really don't know what to do.