Thank you and back to you. Getting that email was very upsetting at first and took many deep breaths not to reply. But it is an insight into a person who is not a monster or demon, but quite unaware of her own actions. Its sad really, because I do think that she loves her ex(N). However, she has managed to make a bad sitch 100 times worse.
The person her ex is with is 23 and has already moved out and in many times and the relationship is a mess. So maybe had she come here instead of my bedroom, who knows she might have saved her relationship. Her ex did want to come back (or so he has said to friends) but could not take her anger and hurt. Once he knew about her and my H that was it for him. It has been a lesson to me in all this to watch first hand how important it is to own our own pain and address our own issues.
I don't know if my H will stay with her. He is still clinging to the relationship and it may work for him on some level. Both of them blame the world for everything and validate each other in that blame. Well, not my idea of a good life...my path is elsewhere right now.
