I am so confused, not sure what hand I am playing

[Snow White]

There is someting else that is bothering me about myself. I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter. She is bright, full or personality and for the most part very well behaved. But she has red hair. I know it sounds crazy but anything you have ever heard about red haired people is true. She can go from 0 to 60 in 1 second flat and have horrible tantrums. They are more common than normal these days, probably due to the stress in the house. My concern is that when she starts up I am always thinking now, great H is really going to want to hang around here when he has to put up with this. I feel like I am projecting some of my disappointment onto my daughter, like it is in part her fault- and I know it isn't. I am also much less patient with it than I used to be. Yesterday while she was carrying on i burst into tears, it actually made her stop. Does anyone here have experience like this where you feel that the issues are effecting your own parenting skills?