Just wanted to say that in my R I was the WAS. I was absolutely smothered and needed to be on my own for a bit. I was called 20 times per day and lets not even get into the texts. At least one an hour.
My H followed the principals from the boards ( he is on a different board) and he detached and learned how to be happy and independent. I really liked the changes. Lets just say that I spent months trying to R and all i ever heard was how much he did not want the R back. How he did NOT love me that way. how he was happier in his life now...and so on
I believe that he was waiting to see changes in me like the ones he had made. I broke his trust when I left and I really really hurt him. Our seperation was happening (without the name) for over a year before I actually left.
It took until almost NOVEMBER for him to finally let me in. He did. He started to trust me again. NOW I have screwed that up again.....with my own insecurities. It was 7 months before he was even open to being my friend again is my point.
My point is he would not even pay attention to me until I started being happy. I was independent. I did not count onm him for things.
I have now hurt him again and unbelievably he is still talking to me. We do have 2 children together os HAVE to talk but I have offerred him a D and he will not take it yet.
It is a hard road. I sometime lash out and say I want a D so I can the pain of it over NOW. sometimes I dont see putting off the inevitable hurt and act rashly. He always points this out to me. It is definitely a lesson in patience.
M: 34 H: 32 M: almost 6 years S: 2 yrs D: 4 yrs Together: 8 Known him: 15 years I walked away: April 1st Wanted back: May 1st!!!!!
