Trust your jusdgement; you are doing fine in this--I mean, you answered your own question!
This is normal behaviour it seems. You need to balance boundaries and letting her Stand on her own--and Fall on her own, with still being there for her. UGH, it's tough. You don't want to be completely available, but if she truly needs you, be there.
So if she's in an auto accident and either stuck on the freeway or even worse, at the hospital--you can help her or at least be there for her. But consider some of the less urgent and/or more minor incidents as things she needs to learn to handle on her own. If necessary, perhaps you could guide her--such as what plumber to call and maybe the appropriate qustions to ask.
MAybe she is progresssing--apoligies and responding positively to you meeting her needs. Great! But you are smart to have no expectations still. There can be a lot of waivering back-and-forth.
AS for waking up in March before a divorce is final. The divorce may continue to be postponed either by her, the legal system or both. But you said it will be too late if she doesn't wake up by then--when a divorce becomes final?
Why is that? Are you Standing only until that point? No judgment, just asking.
You are doing so well. Just keep trusting yourself.
