Piecing? Sexual issues? hmm...not sure

[Michael Mc C]

Some additional thoughts Mom. You said that you miss the OM still so I wonder if that's getting in the way of you finding your H attractive at this point. You've already said that you love your H and that he's a wonderful man, just no chemistry. Is this lack of chemistry the same thing you felt back in college?

My W told me the same thing this past Monday. She didn't say that she misses the OM (but it is evident). She told me that she loves me but not as a husband - she doesn't need the marriage (or any marriage), she needs the friendship. As far as attraction goes, she said it's just not there.

Something drew the two of you together though. Do you know (even if you can't vocalize it) what's missing? Do you have any ideas what your H may need to do to reignite romance/attraction? I'm not saying that you should expect your husband to change for you but two things I do believe:

1) He probably isn't even aware of what turns you off
2) He is probably very willing to modify his behavior, provided his principles aren't compromised (but don't assume, let him tell you whether or not it's something he can do)

One of my concerns about forcing any action in my own situation is that I know my W still misses the OM. We have come a long way since mid-December (when OM walked away). If she can overcome that sense of loss, I believe we would be in much better shape to move forward - one way or the other.