Sorry you had to talk to a lawyer, but unfortunately your W isn't helping with you seeing your children. I know that isn't fun under any circumstance, but you are entitled to see your family no matter what the marital situation is like.
Hang on, buddy. You'll get through it. Being able to be with the 9 month old is a blessing for you. It will help you to remember what it is like to love and care selflessly for another person. I know you hadn't forgotten how to do this, but being with the baby will just reinforce what you've always know.
