I guess we all worry if love will find us again as well. I know it's too early to think about that, but man, after 22 years, it's tough to think of where to even begin. I was never good at dating to start with. You know how it is...you feel unattractive, stupid (at least I do), like...who the hell would want me. I think that has a lot to do with my recent beat downs.
I know how you feel. I was married for 22 years, with X for 25. I was 17 when I met him. What do I know about adult dating?! I wonder if I will find somneone to love, or someone to love me. I guess that is why the WAS's find their next partner before leaving the first, security. LOL
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I am also changed already. I know I am, and it's for the better. It's given me time to gain back the self-confidence in ME. I think I'm kicking as* here, and that has helped me tremendously.I will not have that for very long when I get home, but my hurt has turned to anger. Not bitterness, but anger.
The changes you are making will continue. I have found that once you start to stand up for yourself with the X, it gets easier and it becomes a part of the way you handle things. When my X said he was done and wanted out I fell apart. I was in school and working part time, but struggling with the overwhelming emotions. Everytime we would talk I would end up in tears. I got stronger and really turned my life around. He tried all kinds of threat tactics through the course of the settlement negotiations; tactics that would have made me give in. But I faced them and didn't give in, and ended up okay. You will do fine. Just keep your goals in sight. In my case I was fighrting for stability for the kids. Everything I did was for them. I think you are thinking the same way, so you will do what you have to do.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
