Michael and Husband, Both of you have been saying for awhile that you are comfortable with moving on and that your W's have resolved that divorce is the only alternative and that they are not willing to work on the M. This was my situation also. Tell the W's that you don't want to continue living in this limbo land. You are willing and ready to give the marriage a chance and do whatever it takes to fix things, but it is time to move forward. Either work on fixing it or work on ending it. Offer the Retro weekend as an option. Don't offer it as a miracle cure, but as a means to improve communication between the two of you. Explain that you need this whether you stay together or not. Offer to maintain the status quo until after the weekend and then revisit the situation. If the W's are unwilling to make this compromise, then pay a visit to you lawyer and get the paperwork rolling. I can't say if this will get the desired results, but it will get things moving again. If you are truly willing to move on, then there is nothing lost if it the W's are not willing to compromise. You have both gone over and above what most would be willing to do to save the marriage, so you can't fault yourselves for not trying.
I also think that having it 'come out of the blue' adds to shock value and might help to snap them back to reality.
