If BB is big on these books maybe it is because SHE is the co-de. She is projecting on to you Lou when she starts calling you controlling or needy. I know it is hard for us to get a true picture of anyone that is projected here through the lens of their SO but pretty much everything you have ever told us about what BB says and what she does shows someone controlling and needy to me.
Speaking up when someone is jerkish is not controlling. Saying that you should park in that spot rather than another spot is controlling. Saying you have to support her by not going round to see D and GKs is controlling. Leaving her at home while you go visit is not controlling.
Neediness is altering your behaviour to your own detriment in the belief it will make someone like you. Going to see someone whose company you enjoy is not needy.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
