Fran I agree with your the problem with living too long with someone crazy ( and in my case, different POV ) does make for some decisions I wouldn’t make on my own or me going along with the OP’s POV that isn’t normally my MO.
BB is big on the message in the “Co-Dependent No More“ books, and to a point where she sees some thing I call co operation, she sees those things as dysfunctional.
One of BB’s long standing complaints about me, is I see the OP POV quicker/more often than hers because I don’t see I am slightly needy, or I want to keep things going smoothly when someone is acting selfish or like a jerk.
Sometimes when I do speak up against something someone did that is jerkish, BB tells me I am trying to control OP. I know I can’t do things to her approval or standards so mostly go the conservative route when something isn’t socially appropriate.
My main question was about when to support something I don’t agree with and how far I need to go if my opinion differences from BB.
What I have done in the past is to see/visit/talk to the people BB has issues with, and just keep mostly quiet about what I do or don’t do. I don’t try to cover up anything with fabrications/made up tales. I also feel that not telling all is sometimes a bit dishonest but I am not about to rub salt in BB’s wound.
In response to MoJo’s post on Mrs. Cac’s thread, and the question :“why do you want to have sex with someone that doesn’t want to have sex with you?”
If Cac suddenly became very LD you might find that your tolerance for smoke-smell sex would go up after a while without any sex. That's why it's so hard for HDfolk to recognize that they've started settling for crap sex. That mealy-bug infested oatmeal starts to taste pretty good after a month on the desert island. The answer, if we play by the rules and forsake all others, sometimes bug infested oatmeal is better than no oatmeal at all. Sometimes there are only a few bugs and other times the bugs are just too much to put up with.
Another case of doing something to get a little of something I want.
