Recognized a pattern, don't know if I like it.

[sleeper]

When she's broken she comes to me.........

I think I'll write a song.

I have noticed a definate pattern of W turning to me for help and even emotional support when she is stressed out, overwhelmed etc.

This is a relatively new development as it has become evident over the last four months;

October: plumbing disaster at house she turned to me.

January: emotional crisis (OM there but no support) she turned to me.

February: W gets flu, calls me in the middle of night to come to her and help her. I help her over following three days.

In general this all seems good as OM is not fulfilling her emotional needs (he is a "get over it" kind of jerk) and she had not turned to me for a long time.

On the other hand I fear (the mind killer) that I am just playing into her fantasy of the future, where she will get to keep the aspects of our marriage she chooses in a post divorce relationship. Dare I say "cake eating"?

Another recent development is evidence of guilt on her part. In the beginning she showed none, but has of late (since Christmas). She wanted me to go home and return early in the morning the night she was sick. Said she didn't feel comfortable with me staying the night, but then called as soon as I got home and told me that was wrong of her and she should have let me stay the night.

Another speed bump on the road to marriage restoration is on the horizon as my lawyer emailed me yesterday that a new court date has been set for late March. W's lawyer has taken the initiative to get things going as he sent a letter to W that he hasn't recieved what he needs from her or me. I think he is trying to beat the statute of limitations on the original filing, make some money, or shake things up so it will be brought to an end one way or another and no longer be his problem. Maybe all three.

Her lawyer sent her TWO letters yesterday. I was there when she got them as I took them out of her mailbox and handed them to her. I would think a lawyer could get his stuff in one sock, so to speak, so that probably means both letters had been in the mailbox for a while. Wouldn't be surprised if she hasn't opened them.

Do I continue to meet her needs or stop and give her a taste of divorced life?

Answering my own question I plan to keep meeting her needs as she responds positively when I do and hope she wakes up from all this before the court date in March. If she doesn't by then it will be too late and what have WE got to lose?