She's ready to move on

[Michael Mc C]

Thanks Mom, I think it's great that you have begun posting. I'm familiar with your sitch - from your H's perspective initially but I have just read your thread over in Newcomers.

That is exactly how I'm feeling. We have levelled off, plateaued. No movement in either direction, although she has admitted to trying to reconnect with me and the family as a whole.

My struggle at this point is whether this is a matter of patience now or do I stir things up? There is no anger, no bitterness and if you were to stop by and visit us for the night you'd think we were happily married... Maybe we should get together and double-date

Best of both worlds seems very accurate. There is no need for commitment on her part because she's getting everything (relatively speaking) by continuing to live here.

If I'm not mistaken your H did exactly as you say at a point where things were not running smoothly. In other words, I almost wish W and I could have a blow up so I can accomplish this without it seeming like it's coming out of the blue.

But maybe that's too weak of an approach. My BIL and I had this same discussion over the weekend. I told him that I just don't know how to stop "being a husband". How do I pull the rug out from under her when there are no strong outward signs that it's necessary?

It seems I've become too comfortable with the present sitch as well...