Uh oh! Here comes Valentine's Day

[fearless]

When we had the first talk about it (still drinking) he claimed that love was a constant thing and when it was off it was off like a light and that was that. Kind of like a life really something is either alive or it is dead - no in between. I don't feel like love is like that, I feel like it is something that ebbs and flows. Sometimes it is just oozing out of everything you do for that person (or they do for you), sometimes it goes on vacation, sometimes it just kind of hangs out and reads the paper. So to me it seems like if I say ILY to him in his terms it means that constant thing, whereas in my terms it means "in this moment I feel love for you".

I read this about a couple that was asked how they had stayed married for over 50 years. The wife's answer was that "we never fell out of love with each other AT THE SAME TIME." (My emphasis added) I thought that was profound in the thought that the being in love "feeling" can ebb and flow. At the same time, just because I am not "feeling" love toward my spouse would not mean that I would stop treating them with love. Sometimes our feelings of love are not as much based on how lovable the other person is but how lovable we are feeling. If I'm in an unhappy or bad mood, it would seem normal that my loving feelings might not be as strong as when I am in a good mood.

Just my thoughts...