Oh and to clear up the issue about the past. It is VERY confusing, I know, but basically the best way I can describe it is, I had TOTALLY changed for him, was feeling very tied down to a jealous boyfriend and we fought all the time. I broke it off when he was still madly in love with me. I TRIED to stand my ground and there was lots of breaking up/getting back together/more fighting. I was on theatre scholarship at the time and even asked to sit down with my teacher/mentor for help. (We both went). I remember saying I don't know whether to pay attention to the fact that we keep breaking up or keep getting back together. Well, during one of those back together periods, he went on a week long trip. With him not around, I found new people to hang out with. Joe was a friend from high school. He had a best friend I had not previously known. They were funny/cute skater boys and we hung out late at night, no funny business, but we drank, etc. Without realizing it, I probably started to fall for this friend, Charles. Joey came back. I told him all about how much fun we had and (surprise/surprise) he was very jealous and suspicious. I felt it was unwarranted b/c I hadn't done anything wrong, just had a good time. (I was stupid and selfish I admit.) The next couple of days drove a wedge between us and before long, we were broken up again and I started spending all my time with Joe and Charles. A relationship started with Charles. Joey and I were broken up for most of that summer and I dated Charles. I remember Joey had an extra ticket to Lollapalooza and I accepted. We got back together on that trip out of town. I can't even remember what the situation with Charles was at the time, but I do remember him being cold to me towards the end because he knew I was going to be going back to college in the same town as Joey and I never really fell out of love with him.
Now, the morning Joey is talking about, I remember I went to Charles' house late at night and I DON'T remember if we had sex, but I know I wouldn't have wanted Joey to know I was there! I seem to remember it was kind of saying goodbye. Like I said, Charles had started to sense our summer romance was almost over and I would be going back to school. He had pulled away. I think I was kind of saying goodbye. He had very dramatically given me a "prediction" in a sealed envelope at one point and when I opened it, it said something about "falling back into Joey's arms, like I always knew you would." I found out later he was very hurt by our breakup, but I never really got it at the time. I see how I was being insensitive and hurtful w/o meaning to be. So anyway, BANG BANG BANG. There was a loud knock at the door and I realize it's Joey and he is furious. I think I overslept and did not meet him somewhere right when I was supposed to and he saw my car at Charles' house. He was out front with HIS MOTHER IN THE CAR and I went with him to do whatever it was we had had planned that day. It was awful, but I was not undressed, I don't think. I really don't remember what happened the night before. I probably remembered back then and I'm sure we hashed it out a million times, like we did several other scenarios where I hurt him during that time. Everything was very blurred and to top it off, it was 1992. We went back to KU that fall and moved in together. Lived together from then on and I have always been faithful, except for some flirting while we were still boyfriend/girlfriend. Always faithful while we have been married which has been 10 years now.
