Wife's MLC???

[bombardier50]

Fyre,
Glad to hear you're going out for some fun. Building your circle of friends helps right now, especially with guys. If you console in them, which is a good thing, be careful about the advice they give you back. Your friends don't like to see you suffer, and they will want to see you removed from the pain. I've had friends suggest things like confrontation, separation, even divorce...things that would have been totally counter to my goals and would have made my sitch worse.

And about the detach thing...I'm finding it REALLY hard to do. This is a woman you've loved for 20 years. "Dropping the rope" ain't gonna be easy. In my case, I think fear is the biggest problem. Fear of loneliness, fear of the loss of the marriage, fear that I'll never find love again.

Fear that I'll die alone.

Maybe Jack can weigh in here, but my guess is, once I get past my fear, I'll be able to detach, do a better job of GAL, etc., etc. But right now, fear consumes way too much of my life.

Last...I wanted to caution you about spending too much time on these boards. Although they're a great source of advice and support, there is a LOT of pain here...you can see it and feel it in the words people write, and it can really, really bring you down. Lots of times I've found myself reading a thread and I'll just start crying. So watch that, okay?

Hang in there friend. I'm with ya every step...

Bomb