Update to my sitch, the end has come

[mako_man]

Got 2 calls from a couple of her male "friends" that have been enjoying her decline. However, they both made it clear to me that she is going to die, that my kids should not be around her anymore. Its also clear that while they were certainly enjoying the ride for awhile with my wife spinning out of control, they were scared to have any "blood" on their hands if things were going to end up the way they thought they were. These are two guys that dont even know each other and the calls came within 3 days of one another. I contacted my wife, she at first denied anything is wrong (as always), I let her know about the calls and that I could not allow the kids to go back to her apt until I was able to process any facts out of these calls. I hung up. She then immediately sent me a text that simply said, "I am @ rock bottom". I immediately drove over to her place and she was beginning the process of packing her stuff, turns out she was going to be evicted the next day, 3 months behind on the rent. I havent really spoken with her at all in the last 3 months so I had no idea it was this bad, here;s what else:

1. She had been up for 3 days on crystal meth.
2. She had been using daily for 6 months
3. She admitted to being an alcoholic
4. She had been with 7 guys in the last 8 days.
5. She had been arrested last week for f*cking a random guy in his truck outside a bar that she frequents just last week, she got off the charge but the police report remains.
6. She had to change her locks because she had given a key to one of these men, he is currently out of prison and on parole, and he had a key to the place my children were sleeping every other week.
7. Another guy was stalking her, while she was sleeping with a man at his house the previous night this guy was in his front yard, peering through the window and left notes on both of their cars.
8. Another guy in this is married and the manager of a West Marine in Mobile, Al. She works at West in Biloxi.
9. Her boss was ready to fire her, I am good friends with him and over the weekend he told me that when she was at work over the past few weeks she was either drunk or smelling of alcohol every day.
10. She kept the kids out of school 3 days in a row the previous week, told them not to call me. I asked my oldest daughter whats going on and she told me, "mommy just locks her BR door and doesnt come out until its time for dinner"
11. My wife, during a party at her place left my children alone with 2 men and 1 woman. One of the men was touching my 11yr olds arm saying "this is how a woman is supposed to feel." A fight ensued between the 2 men. This was confirmed by both my daughter and my wife. My wife left them alone to go buy "beer".

Theres more, but whats the point? Shes in Rehab in Hattiesburg, MS, im in court this week to get full custody and will be moving back to Pittsburgh. Wish there was a happier ending to this one, at least my daughters still have a mother.

[cat03]

macko, it hurts to even read this, i'm so sorry it has come to this))))))))))))
Keeping you and your girls in my prayers, they just have to give you full custody, the girls have to be with you. May God help her and may reaching rock bottom finally means she gets some help.

[mako_man]

Yeah, shes getting help. She is currently in a 7 day detox before she goes to a primary rehab facility. I have talked to her everyday and each day comes new admissions, she says she is so disgusted with herself. Its so amazing how after 12 years she is so far gone from the woman i married, so much damage throughout the marriage, and now this. Nothing could have prepared me for this and after living in this nightmare so long I thought I knew it all, knew how to cope with anything. Gotta be strong for my girls now, who knows what permanent damage has been done to them too, they are finally starting to talk about the string of men they have been seeing, their confusion, their fear, etc. God, what a mess.

[mako_man]

One of the unconfirmed rumors out of this is that she was "hooking" for drugs and/or money. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to deal with that? This was my wife of 12 years!

[kml]

Drug addicts will do anything to get a fix. It's a terrible disease, and crystal meth is the absolute worst IMHO. It just destroys people.

Do what you have to to protect your kids. Mom only gets supervised visitation, and only that if she's passing random drug screens regularly. I hope and pray for your kids' sake that she is able to get clean and stay that way.

Ellie

[mako_man]

Well I live in Biloxi, MS currently. My L is confident aside from the full custody I will be able to get my kids back to their birth home in Pittsburgh relatively soon. I dont know how custody works after that but it appears if she wants to be a part of their lives she will have to relocate as well. Just dont know the details at this point.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Mako,

I tend not to leave MLC forums much, and not really sure why I stopped by here, usually have a full plate...

Semper Fi,

No not a Marie. I was a Coastie, some of my best buds were Marines, making fun of the squids.

Look your daughters, YOU are their role model, and you are protecting them. You are going to be the template of what they look for in a man. And your wife, (whoever that is) will set them up for what they want, or do not want to be when they are older.

My god, I am sorry for what you are discovering.

Your wife seeking treatment is huge. Her realizing she hit rock bottom is very important. Meth addiction is pretty prominent in my part of the world. It destroys lives.

Are you going to be able to forgive your wife for destroying hers, affecting yours, and the amazingly poor choice involving your daughters?

Go with God, man.

I find myself in awe of your ability to handle your situation.

[ntl]

Geez. I don't know what to say, but I felt I needed to offer a word of encouragement if I can. I feel so sick at what addictions can do to people and I can't imagine what you're having to deal with right now.

You're doing the best you can with what you know and what you have. I pray that your wife eventually turns her life around.

Blessings,

ntl

[NewHorizons]

Mako,

My brother is a reformed meth addict who caused a lot of chaos during his addiction. I sympathise with you and your family. My thoughts are with you and your children.

NH

[ms ladybug]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. It must be so painful to watch your wife deteriorate into someone who would do things you wouldn't fathom. Meth IS the worst IMO. I've seen people destroy families and relationships over it.

I would suggest that since your daughters are starting to open up, that you get them into counseling ASAP. There's probably a lot they've seen in the little time that their mom did drugs. They need a professional to help them sort through it, and understand it.

I'm praying for you and your girls.