I understand how you feel about your D not phoning you to tell you she had been in an accident and how it must have hurt that she phoned her dad BUT at least she turned to one of you. She could have tried to deal with this herself. My D17 has also recently been involved in a car accident and although she wasn't injured and there is only minor damage to her car the other party is trying his best to intimidate her b/c she is so young and dealt with everything herself at the time of the incident. Be grateful for the mercy that she has not been injured.
My thoughts on why your H is seemingly back in Replay. His sister is dying. He knows the FULL implications of this he treats people with this terrible disease all day every day. He will know the full extent of her suffering both now and as the end of her life approaches. He cannot deal with this any other way than run from it.
We all of us in this situation have a right to be angry and even a right to be bitter BUT where does that get us? IMO it only brings us more sadness. Try to focus on what is important to you right now. Let H grieve in his own way for his sister, be there to support him if he asks for it but always in the background if he doesn't.
This is hard. Try and turn your anger at him into something positive for you. Let go of the jealousy you feel about the R between your D and your H. Believe me I have been there. I only let go of this when H left. I may still have had a M if I could've learnt to do is sooner.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
