Well court tomorrow - we will be officially separated and then the lawyers start to hash out the divorce proceedings. Things not going good between H and I. No contact except visitation and even that is a problem - has not seen his D in over a month - keeps cancelling and then emailing wants to see her off the scheduled visitation days and gets mad if I dont respond fast enough. We just dont see eye to eye. All he sees is a difficult person who is giving him a hard time - not accomodating his schedule and complaining to the lawyers racking up bills just becuase he wants to take D to OW house where they live. I of course just see a self centered man who only thinks of himself. The future looks bleak. It would take a miracle at this point. Its difficult to DB when you have no contact and then when you do you are dealing with a person who puts himself before his own D. In one month he has only asked to see her 2 times and I agreed to both but he got mad because I responded the same day when he only emailed me the night before one time and on a Friday eve to see her Monday this time. I called him MOnday becuase I was so disgusted he never showed up last week and my D was waiting for him. I know DBing is GALing which I have done. I have a new job, lost weight and starting to exercise. Its difficult to have a social life as a single mother with no family around to help out. But is the other part of DBing just smiling and agreeing to everything your selfish spouse wants so they can see you in "a new light". Its very difficult. Im starting to lean towards not wanting my H back - not this H - this is not who I was married to and that person is gone forever.
