W8ing & Peace, In regards to your comments about not feeling like we are being honest: I have often wondered about that same concept. But something in me tells me that its not that we are being dishonest with our spouses. Rather we are withholding our true feelings for a while to hopefully give our spouses the time and space neccessary for them to focus on the issues that lie within themselves. We all know that the crying, begging, pleading and pursuing does not do any good and actually pushes the WAS farther away. So we have learned to simply control those feelings within our broken hearts and deal with them on our own time and not in front of our spouses. The more I read, the more I understand, and the more I realize that the term we use here (Mid Life Crisis), is actually another way to say they are severly in a depressed state of mind. The MLCers journey is all about them, so our feelings don't count to them much at all through out their journey. Also, I do think that they know how we are feeling deep down and how much pain this is causing us. We often get spooked though that they will read into our distance and detatchment as though this is what we want also. In the long run, If it is meant to be, then it is meant to be, and they will find there way back to us if that is really what is best for both involved. I have never found better advice than what I recieve here, even when it feels like it is hard to follow, I do believe that many miracles have come out of this board and the work done by us DBers. Have faith! TIPPER
