B, It seems that your W married very young, so she might be trying out her independence now. I was in a similar situation with my 1st M. He was only 2 years older than me but he was only my 2nd BF and I didn't know him that well before he proposed. He totally suffocated me and at the same time emotionally abused me. He tried to make himself feel good by trying to put me down. He also had a hot temper and became irrational during arguments.
I started back at school again (chnage in career path), and he got jealous of my befriending other studets at school, especially when 1 of them tried to pursue me. His jealousy pushed me away even more. In the end, I confided in the guy he was jealous of and I got emotionally involved with that person.
When I moved out, I had already been depressed for a few years. But I didn't know it. The depression worsened after I left him. After I moved out, my H pursued me and tried to load guilt on me. I felt alot of pressure from him every time I saw him. His neediness and his actions pushed me further and further away and he made no attempt to change himself.
I didn't trust him to change and was sure he'd make me sorry for leaving him and getting involved with someone else. So I never missed him one bit. I felt guilt but I never wanted to go back to him. I filed after a few months of S, and never looked back. He re-maried within a couple of years. I took my time and only re-married after 9 years.
Even though I never wanted to be back with him, I felt alot of guilt for many years. It hurt me alot to leave him too. It was hard to see him cry. I just couldn't be with him. If he DB'ed, it might have made a difference.
