I think it's in her subconscious which is why it happens the way it does, it could also be a way for her to make herself feel better about what she has done.
Example:
She calls to tell you that you are messing up yet again (this validates her reasoning behind leaving)
I was just re reading where you said "you're right" as a means of validating her. Maybe you could try "I am sorry you feel that way" it still validates without you assuming blame.
