How did you know when the time was right? That you were done for sure?
I have grown completely weary of the disrespect, the paranoia, the lies, the sneaking around, the theft of time from our family... it all added up. There wasn't a THUD of hitting the nadir. It was an accumulation of hurt and frustration that led me here.
If she came crawling back to me tomorrow, I have doubts whether I would take her back. I really do. She is habitually dishonest and manipulative, and I don't have a lot of patience for that any more. I asked myself, "If I were not married, and I met my wife, knowing who she is - knowing she cheated on her husband and kids - would I want to date her?"
Understand that over the past month, I have mentally moved myself to such a better place. I am more patient, considerate, Godly, and centered than I have ever been. For example, I no longer raise my voice and I no longer swear. And as I move toward what is right, she continues to move toward what is wrong. I stand firm in my convictions, as she waffles and justifies. It's just not a good match for me.
It's taken me a long time to get here. It wasn't that long ago that I hung every aspiration of my happiness on my marriage (and subsequently her love). Not any more. At the risk of sounding sanctimonious, a lot of credit goes to my faith. As I seek to walk in the footsteps of Christ, I find myself more at peace with myself. I am strong, and I am right in what I believe.
Well I know what's right, I got just one life in a world that keeps on pushin' me around but I'll stand my ground and I won't back down
