Priorities and tests of strength

[Burgbud]

(Fearless) Burg, There seem to be two different issues you have with those that have ANY compassion for Brian's wife's dilemma.

Not so. I have a great deal of compassion for Brian's W. I have a great deal of compassion for Miss IC. I could go on but hopefully the rest of this post will clarify that more.


First you clearly seem to believe that the women here are either dishonest or ??? when they say that whether Brian was a man or woman they would have the same opinion of how the spouse acted.

Again, hopefully this will be touched upon later. At this point I'll just ask...do you believe women who say they just want to meet a nice guy? If not, are they being dishonest or ???


Second you seem to take issue with the idea that a spouse would not be a 100% priority 100% of the time in 100% of all situations. Is this correct?

No, that is not correct.


Specifically what was it that made it clear to you that the wife should "choose" to be with Brian?

Now we're getting to it. These are the things Brian said that made it clear to me:

To summarize, I fell ill with extreme chest pain and fever right after X-mas.

As if one trial were not enough, my mother-in-law because ill and needed bypass surgery. MIL made it through the surgery fine and was released home on schedule.

I took an unexpected turn for the worse. I will spare the details other than to say that I was in pretty bad shape. Still doped on two drips of a morphine equivalent, I text messaged both my wife and mother, each of them thousands of miles away from me, and let them know what was going on.

So, here is the crux of my dilemma. Yes, my MIL was recovering (emphasis Burgbud's) from a serious procedure. Though, during that time, I was hospitalized twice, underwent surgery, suffered a great deal, and spent many very turbulent touch-and-go evenings with no one but my mother lying on couch next to me.

I find myself very hurt that I could have taken my final breaths without my wife holding my hand.

For me, that spells things out pretty clearly. I'm quite surprised that people read Brian's first post and came out of it thinking this was some type of 50/50 situation. But maybe it's just me.


If her mother was recovering from By-bass surgery and Brian had the flu (after a harrowing previous stay in the hospital), would she still be obligated, in your book, to come home to Brian?

I don't understand why you're constructing this strawman. What did I say that makes you think I would expect her to leave her post-op mother for an H with the flu? Please point out where I said anything that resembles "he is to ALWAYS be her priority".


So you are saying that if Brian had told his wife he was possibly going to die and that he wanted her there, THAT would be showing his puppy to her??

I'd say that fits the definition to a T. I'd say that being hospitalized, undergoing surgery, and having many turbulent, touch-and-go evenings constitutes showing his puppy whether he wants to or not. Sometimes a guy is just vulnerable, period.


And children and women have died in childbirth so I am not sure why you view it as a stretch???

It's a stretch because one case involves several days of a touch-and-go situation and the other involved the *possibility* of complications. (Btw, I take a pretty dim view of the elk hunter's choice.)

So let me ask...if the elk hunter's wife had actually developed serious, life threatening complications and her H hadn't been there because he was off hunting, would that change your opinion of the sitch? Would it change the opinion of any of the other women you've discussed it with who didn't have a problem with it?