If someone put my H, my dad, my kids and my sister into a room and said they were going to shoot them but I could save one of them would you expect me to choose my H?
There's no way I could choose any of them over the others. I would far rather the villain shoot me.
When I married my H I accepted him as a member of my family, someone I would not turn my back on no matter what. We have recovered from his affair and are finally in the process of recovering from his alcoholism. I don't go over and over what he did to me, they are bygones and I am happy that we are living through happier times these days. When my mum died my brother just went off the rails, he maliciously accused my dad and my sister of all kinds of mistreatment of her while she was ill (which just plain was not true) and later he tried to get me to play along with his bid to prove that my dad had falsified her will. (He uses pretty much every drug you can imagine). When I did not agree with him about the will he cut me out of his life too and made all kinds of nasty vicious comments to me in the process. But if he were to knock on my door right now, tell me he'd given up drugs and was sorry for the heartache and pain he's caused I would welcome him back in an eye-blink. And that's because he is FAMILY. I would lay down my LIFE to save one of my own children without question. And I would certainly risk my life to save other close family members. Raising someone who is not a blood relative to that same level as that to me is as good as it gets. Don't ever ask me to choose between them.
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
