I have to point out that this sounds so controlling:
Originally Posted By: dry_heat
What I hope to do is get her to either commit or not. And if she commits, to actually take action (which I think would have to include counseling, probably individually and together).
What if she's not ready to make a decision? You might force her to move out when she's not sure that's what she really wants.
If you're not seeing any changes with her, I agree that it may be time to shake things up, but I don't think forcing her to make a decison is the best way to go about it. Earlier you wrote that she seems happy with things the way they are now- but how do you know that? You may be reading into things. Maybe she wants a change too. Of course she wants to be happy- she may not realize that things with you can be different than they have been for the last 10-15 years. How can you make changes to yourself that can show her that you are still the same guy she fell in love with all those years ago? What changes have you made so far? I'm sorry if I'm repeating the old DB cliches, but you need to work on YOU, the only person you can control.
