Mrs. Cac I think you are great. I was going to reply on your LDW thread. Let me say I see worlds of difference between a LDW that wants to prove LDW is normal, there isn’t much anyone can do about it so get used to a LDW. I don’t see any of that in your posts. I see someone making progress VS. like it or lump it in other situations. WTG & ^5.

Since when does a dad/grandpa need an invitation to see his daughter/grandkids? That makes no sense to me at all.
I have an open, “call to make sure someone is home” invitation from D and SIL.

Just because she doesn't want to see them doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't
BB wants to see the GK but at our house but thinks D needs to come to our house more often.

The problem starts with SIL has a short fuse, swears, doesn’t pay some of his bills, needs to grow up, and BB has a difficult time being around him. SIL & D go to MC and they are moving 8 hrs away.

BB thinks SIL will mistreat D and GK when they move. I think things will work out. BB tells me I cant see the writing on the wall. I want to support the good in their M so stay connected so if something happens in their M, they will both feel like they can talk to us.

I am concerned if this once a month thing continues, our d will see it as a sign to even become more distant, not call if something is rough for her.

SIL doesn’t talk to his parents much but will talk to me about issues that are on his mind.

Sure, you may be enabling her behavior, but you are not causing her to be unhappy.
Enabling D and SIL is another of BB’s big concerns (too dumb to see the writing on the wall). As I reread the enabling, I see it also applies to how I interact with BB.


Hap just her animals for company.
That might happen. I know she thinks pets are more dependable than people.

he's as happy as a pig in muck
What? You saw my shop???? Maybe we are twins? \:\/

I don't really keep track that's just a guess but I know he phones way more often than I do.
I don't keep track but BB does after the ratio goes over her limit.

I would phone her about once every 3 months only to get an earful for not phoning more often - how encouraging is that?.
So you were a bad grand daughter too. Just kidding Fran. Sory that happened to you. ((((Fran))))

BB doesn't remind anyone to do much, but she does withdraw and feels a lot of resentment.

I asked BB to tell our D what is up from BB's POV, but she thinks any person with half a brain should be able to put two and two together and figure out what to do. That is where I supposedly lack social skills. I just keep showing up when not officially per visit invited.

SIL does have his problems that PO BB. I would say if the two of them were locked in a room for a day/week/month, there would be some serious insults thrown back and forth.

Lou