Status 2 - W friendlier but still very distant

[fb2]

Called W this morning to ask if she thought I should take S7 to a follow up doctor's appointment for an ear infection. She was sick again with flu-like symptoms and feeling very sorry for herself. I tried to keep the conversation to the minimum and focused on S7.

But before I could end the call she launched an emotional outburst on the following 2 lines:

(1) Blaming me profusely for: her unhappiness in the M, being too controlling, not taking responsibility for my behavior, that's why she's getting divorced, etc, etc, etc. I said I understand her feelings but I can't rewrite the past; I'm doing my best and blaming doesn't help.

(2) When she tried to have me keep her on the car insurance policy, I happened to try to clarify that her name was no longer on the house since I'd gone thru' paying out her share of the equity and taking out a mortgage as part of the legal process. She does not believe this and accuses me of lying, cheating, playing games, etc. In the past I'd react defensively to her stupidity and these character assassinations but I said I did not want to discuss these legal matters with her and I'm leaving it up to the lawyers. She also threatened to get a new lawyer. Luckily she got another call and had to go.

I still feel myself wanting to withdraw when W attacks and I'm not sure I'm responding in the best DB way. I may also be fighting a hopeless cause. So any coaching in this regard from the veterans would be appreciated.