You make a good point and one that helps me understand better the idea of owning my choices, preferences and boundaries.
The boundary thing is a challenge for me because, for example, I break my no-sex-without-a-shower boundary sometimes. Other times I'm not interested unless he's had a shower. I'm inconsistent for a variety of reasons. During ovulation the smoking is pretty much irrelevant. Other times of the month I can barely tolerate it.
After thinking about this, I see that I need to own my preference for the showering and stick to it. It's fear that's getting in the way of sticking to it.
