Lizzy, Thanks for the encouragement. He did laugh and smile watching S bowl today, watching a dozen 5 yr olds try to bowl is a riot! And he talked with the other moms and dads, and to me, too. In fact he put his arm on my lower back for a little bit while he was standing by me, which he hasn't done in quite a while.
He only got a little uncomfortable-looking when his parents showed up at the end of the party. They drove down from Iowa to visit b/c they were missing the grandkids. The weather was bad so we just stayed at the bowling alley with them. I think he felt bad that he didn't pay more attention to them but he couldn't stay long with another load of hay to deliver.
Turns out I was right, I think. MIL just called to say they made it back home. She said H had called them from the road to apologize for taking off so soon. She said H felt bad he didn't spend more time with them. So I will just assume his seeming unhappiness at the end of the afternoon was more discomfort at having his parents drive 2 hours just to see him for 45 minutes (me and the kids stayed to visit for 2 hours, we went to the mall after H left), not anything to do with me.
Oh, and he isn't home yet. He won't get back until probably eleven. Just had a naughty impulse to go to bed naked and see if he notices, but I think that falls under trying to force some progress T-shirt it is....
Guess what? I decided to skip the naked thing in case it scared him off. Went to bed in a t-shirt AND flannel pajama pants b/c H wasn't home yet and I was cold. Thought I'd take the pants off when I warmed up but fell asleep instead. WELL...............
H came to bed and started fondling ME in MY sleep!!!
I woke up and he was spooning me w/his arm around me. I rolled over and said, "Oh you're home good"--it was 1:30 a.m. and he'd been running hay to Iowa all day and night. I took the pants off and rolled back over so he could spoon me. One thing led to another and we did it..................ALMOST??
For me, sorry if it's TMI, I have to "get there" before we are physically together b/c I don't "get there" just from us together, if you know what I mean. So he made sure I was "happy" and then we started "being together". Well, after a few minutes he seemed to be not so into it. Then he said he thought he pulled something, said "OW", and asked me (very nicely) to get off of him. I did of course but I felt really bad b/c I got to have my fun and he didn't get to finish having his. We haven't been "together" in 6 weeks so I suppose it is possible he really "pulled something"; it has happened before when we are overeager. But I am also a little afraid that maybe he had second thoughts about going "all the way".
On the plus side, he initiated all the intimacy,I was sound asleep; and he called me twice today and talked like things were normal. So I don't think he has a problem with me/us right now. Guess after loading and moving hay three days in a row and then getting a response from a wife who has been waiting for this chance, he maybe was a little bit sore???
I will just choose to enjoy the fact that he made the move on ME, and that he is continuing to call me today even if last night ended awkwardly. Actually, after we stopped and were going back to sleep I told him I'd return the favor tonight if he was feeling up for it then, and he said okay. So we'll see....
WOW I think my H is still freaked out about going "all the way" as you put it. In the summer he said he didn't want to give me false hope. H doesn't mind me getting him off though. He has said he will be doing more so I hope I can believe him. When I told him last week I felt used he said he wasn't using me. I would trust that your H was being honest about being sore.
Hey guys! FYI, two of you typed Boobi Jo. It's Bobbi Jo! The other way sounds a little naughty...
So last night went pretty well. Nothing physical. H got home around 6:15 and started installing one of the ceiling fans we bought. Then we ate supper with the kids. We talked about "normal" stuff most of the evening, nothing earth-shattering. He said he was relieved to realize he only has 6 more loads of hay to move instead of 10--yay!
Anyway, the kids went to bed and then we went to bed around 10:30. Nothing physical but that was ok with me. I spooned him for a little bit but that was all. I could tell he was very tired. At midnight I woke up and saw he'd forgotten to turn the alarm on. So I got up to do it and he bolted up out of bed from what seemed to be sound asleep. I said, "Calm down I am just turning on your alarm." He lay back down.
Two more times in the night, around 2 and 4:30, I woke up and he was sitting up on the edge of the bed. Both times, he lay back down after a second. I put my arm around him once and grabbed his hand once. He held it pretty tight and his hand was sweaty. The rest of him wasn't. For some reason it made me think about him and how he used to text OW from our bed.
I couldn't help it, I started to wonder if he had been sitting up to text her. He still doesn't leave his phone out. But he wasn't hunched over, and there was no light from a phone either time I saw him sitting on the bed. This morning I asked if he was okay, he seemed restless all night. He answered that he just had a lot to do. I hugged him goodbye and said ILY, he hugged me back and said "You too".
So I am hoping it is just the stress of all the work he still has to do on the house and with the hay that is keeping him awake. That and knowing that soon he has to go in and tell his boss he quits. That would keep me awake I am sure.
In the past few months, when he was undecided about working things out, if he was stressed he would say "I have a lot to think about", meaning what to do with our M. So I think maybe it is a positive that he said this morning "I have a lot to do". B/C the things he has to do aren't about me.
Anyway he called me this morning to talk at 6:45 to see if I had heard from his mom that SIL had her baby--I had heard. Then we talked again at 4:00 about the weather and Super Tuesday (we are getting 6-10 inches tonight), then he just called to ask me a random question on the way to bowling. When he wasn't that interested he used to just text me all the time so I will take the phone calls as a positive, too.
But the crappy thing is as always Tuesday night is bowling night. Last week he was home at 10:10. But with the weather (rain now, sleet supposed to start at 7, snow between 9 and 10), I am afraid he will call and say he will be late, or that he is staying in town to avoid the crappy roads. Even though that would be legit, it would cause me to worry even if I shouldn't.....he only has 2 more weeks of bowling before he quits his job and part of me is afraid he may take his last opportunity while he has it......
Remind me, things are going well here, right??? So I don't need to get so worried????
Sorry about the name thing BobbiJo. I guess your post about the previous night had our minds on other things. Yes things are still going good for you. My H hasn't slept in the same bed as me for over a year so you are way ahead of me. I know the tension you are feeling about bowling night. I'm not looking forward to Thurs. in the summer if H starts playing volleyball w/ EA again. If H calls to say he is staying in town, relax. I don't think he is planning to go out w/ a bang so to speak.
T-shirt it is....
