I am pleased you have turned 'yourself' around so quickly but have to admit that I am sceptical that you have made permanent life changing moves that are going to keep you on a long term even keel so quickly - but hey - I don't know you and you are seemingly strong willed.
I didn't say I made 'permanent' life changes. I said I made changes and I'm in a better place. I didn't say I was done making changes. How could I be? I'm not God, I'm a man. I still hurt, I still feel anxiety, I still have issues.
I'm better than I was 4 weeks ago. I'm focusing on getting things done that will benefit me, and my kids, when W leaves. And I'm doing everything I can to detach from her - for my sake.
She doesn't detach from me though. She just came in all upset because her credit card processor charged her $99 membership fee even though she sent them a cancellation a week ago. She only had $180 in her checking. So now she can't do grocery shopping and when I suggested she use 'house money' she got angry and refused.
Did I want to give her a hug? Yes. Did she act like she needed one? No.
At the church service yesterday he read a quote from "If love is a game, these are the rules". It was from the chapter about 'loving yourself'. She bought the book (I already have it) and has started reading it. The first several chapters are about loving yourself, determining what kind of person you want in a relationship and how to BE in a relationship. The last chapters are about working through DIFFICULT times and how it is a test of your character when the other person has their down times.
It's the only book she has that doesn't have a 'you can just leave when it gets hard' section in it. Even the section where she talks about 'growth while in a relationship' she never talks about leaving when one person is stuck.
Anyway, it's interesting that she's reading something different.
