I was reading yuor post and you do sound so sad, but good for you for keeping going and yes, this does make us be more compassionate. I'm amazed at the number of people who say to me to get angry, or tell him to get lost, or I should;ve cut all his trousers up, etc! I would rather be compassionate. I dont know whats going on with my BF either, or why he left, and he too couldnt look me in the eye for months and looks tired and depressed whenever I have seen him. He doesnt look like hes off having fun. So I think the only thing we can do, if you really love someone, is to forgive them for all the hurt they;ve caused and lack of empathy with your situation, and be compassionate.
I was interested in this comment above though..
Originally Posted By: still hoping
I've been thinking about this too and how much we are enabling them to run by DBing.
I was worried about this today...I have been so unemotional since christmas, not showing him the reality of my sitch or my feelings, it is like letting him off the hook in a way and may make him think I am ok with it now, I accept his decision. I dont know the answer to that. This site is aboud dbing, but I worry that its basically not being honest, so maybe nothing would ever change (for good or bad). Sounds like, at one year on, you feel it IS the right thing to do. I take heart from that!
Ali -------------------- Me: 36 H: 34 LT: 9 years ILYBINILWY: 2 Nov 07 Own apartment: 26 Jan 08 My sitch
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
