Good for you for "being the bigger person". It seems to me that no one is in a position to pit the one situation against the other except you and your W. The truth is that you and she may see it very differently. My H has a bias against the "old" person in any such contest of situations. If the one person is old then they automatically merit less attention than the younger person. I don't know why he operates this way but he does. So, he would have opted for the spouse over the parent. I would have been weighing an entirely different set of criteria. We both may or may not have wound up with the same answer. I couldn't say for sure. I will say one more thing. DO NOT martyr yourself in these situations. If you need your W's comfort then ask for it. I often fail at that and it is not a good thing.
