The only thing I can comment on regarding your wife is that she's not clearly convinced she wants a divorce, she still loves you and still wants your kindness and affection WHILE she entertains the possibilty of moving on. I think she's irresponsible with her words like "it's over between us" and her actions, mainly her playing emotional footsie with a married man. She's also unconcious about painful her words and actions are to you.
She seems ungrounded, unrooted, unspiritual, and the best illustration that comes to mind is that of a tumbleweed that's blown by the wind of circumstance and her emotions.
She doesn't come across as a bad or malicious person, just an unsubstantial person. She's not a woman of deep moral character or substance. And, Frank, it would take a major conversion/epiphany for her to become one. I don't think that's going to happen with her friends who talk about "energy" or, perhaps even in the church you go to. She doesn't need a "word for today" or a nice moral lesson or a little boost, she needs to be shaken to the core.
She'll always be OK when your game is 100% on. She'll always be confused and listless when you are weak.
