All Hope is lost/Help - Part 2

[25yearsmlc]

Jen-Jam.

I agree with the "I'm a damn good catch" and "If you leave ME, it is YOUR loss". I didn't totally feel that way at the time of his departure. After awhile, I did feel better about myself with GAL and to this day, I feel more secure in that knowledge. He is lucky to have me and at some level he knows he is. He was an ass, frankly, and it was over a length of time that was ridiculously slow. Almost mentally deranged in that he believed everything his "career hero" said, and nothing I said and nothing anyone else said about the JOB OPPORTUNITY etc. I mean, Alaska attracts a lot of MLC men and God only knows why. "The last frontier" etc. I guess.

Now we're here, and he's looking to get out b/c guess what? He was wrong. He knows it and has admitted it and is probably ashamed. So I can usually shut up about it. But what scares me is that it was actually at times, so weird to me, not just selfish. But sick. I mean, really off the wall in his marital revisions. Alien spew.

I can make it on my own, and actually be happy. My R's with our children are so much better than his are, I'll never be lonely I think. DBing and GAL were key to this. And prayer, and listening to God's replies... I love the man he can be and wants to be. But I'll be fine no matter what.
j-