I come across well, generally quiet. I don't yell and I'm only expressing anger ON THE BOARD. Most people like me. Her friends do too. But, they support HER no matter what.
Uggg.......
Frank, I am getting tired of hearing about HER. And her friends. Put a cork in it.
You are still trying to define how you should react given your situation. How you should react to her.
People, I don't post 'who I am as a man' on the board. I discuss those kinds of things on the phone with my friends who are my support group.
I was answering the question about whether or not I come across as 'angry' when I talk to W's friends. I don't.
I post stuff about my interactions with W on this board because THAT is the most puzzling thing going on with my life that I need insight into.
I don't need to post about 'who I am as a man' on THIS board because I KNOW who I am. Yet it seems that since I am NOT posting that vital information on the board, it's what people seem to want to badger me the most for.
Well, you can stop. I'm quite fine right now, and I'm not suffering from anxiety or fear or panic attacks. At the present time, and pretty much the past 2-3 days since I had the 'I hate this...' talk with W I have not been reacting to her crap very much at all. Let me repeat that: I am not reacting to her very much at all.
But SHE has been reacting to MY detaching / indifference a lot by being angry and pissy. This morning she said 'good morning' to me and when she didn't hear my response she said it again, but LOUDER.
But last night as she was leaving to go to the 'Casino Night' WITHOUT me she said 'bye' and 'messed up' my hair. ???????
She's a nut case. Angry, then reaching out to me.
I keep posting about these events and instead of getting insights I get 'you are so angry' or 'stop talking about her, tell about YOU'.
Geeze people, get a clue will ya? This board is not my main source of support.
Spitfire, Blyndfaith, FIB, Cherishher, Theoden and my two non-Db friends are on my speed dialer and we talk all the time. I'm not alone in this regard.
So, I only post stuff to the board that I want a broad set of responses from, because they are behaviors of W I am trying to understand the dynamics of. Stuff that needs a lot more experienced eyeballs looking at it.
So please, you don't need to try to fix me, and keep me 'on track' fixing myself. It's well underway and I have a great group of supporters I talk to every day. Thanks for caring.
So, please just ANSWER the questions I post, or give me your insights into the observations about my W.
If you know me at all, you'd know I am very good at squeezing a lot of change in a short period of time. I'm not 'all better' but I am LOT better now. W is the one who is now having extreme emotional swings. She was crying in church today, and is generally angry at me now. But then tonight I was a little down because I'm not able to always maintain the 'act as if' in front of her and she caught it, then asked me if I was ok and seemed to actually care.
I know I was a 'case' the first 2-3 weeks. That's how long it took me to get through the panic and pain after being in my severe anxiety / stress / financial state for so long.
Today, I'm in a good place. I'm keeping the detachment up and observing the reactions when they happen. But for the most part I keep away from W, and focus on my own day to day stuff and the work I need to do to clean up my messes.
