grid lost (and anyone else who dares to try and digest this 1),
Even before your post, I was starting to feel as though it might be a good idea to clarify things a bit in my sitch that is only partially recounted on here. So thanks for the nudge. I am notorious for needing them quite often. I was unraveling my marital storyline and then I kind of truncated it and didn't really get into the particular troublespots of my M. So now I will try to stay on point in that.
Here goes.
Since my signature line indicates that the first major crumbling of our M ocurred w/ Sep#1 5/06, I will try to give a brief synopsis focusing on what I believe led to this unfortunate decision on her part. When I first met my W she had a county corrections job that paid well and had good benes. After about 2.5 year on the job all hell broke loose both @ the job and with the discovery of a tumorous mass in my W brain. She was a corrections ofcr with morals and virtuousness and that caused her to stick out like a sore thumb when the scandals hit (as they always do in that line of work). So her days at work kept worsening with ever increasing amounts of stress and then the news of the tumor arrived in Feb 2002. Obviously with her needing to take time off for her and I to go to the various Dr's and have them provide opinions on what would/could be done about this grave matter, she was pondering as to whether to even return to this stressful job. She switched to a different county job where she remained for almost 6 mo after we were married in 4/2002. She was making a little less $ then and struggled to get along with co-workers there. So at this point 5 mo into our marriage she made a Major life adjustment and she followed me to a new town a couple of hrs away leaving her job and more dramatically causing a geographical split between herself and her D(14 then). Her daughter since about age 8 officially lived w/ W's ex and his parents. And for the 4 yrs or so before I met my W she lived in a neighboring town to her D & D's dad and (peculiarly enough)it was the case when I met her that she was living for a time in the same house as D, D's dad and the GrP's. So after securing the ok fm her child to make things easier for us as a newly M'd couple. We proceeded to get a place that was in the town that my work was based at. With her making this heavy compromise, I promised that I would only have us there for 1-1.5 yrs max (and this would later come back to bite me in the derriere). In the new place our financial position suffered with the loss of her salary and we remained there for 3.5 yrs (boy did I not live that down). During that time she completed her schooling for a B.S degree which was begun in 1989(and was interupted w/ birth and raising of D). She worked sporadic P/T jobs during this period, which I remember I got on her pretty heavily about due to the lack of consistency. As I look back on it now, of the 3.5 yrs there perhaps the 1 - 1.5 years were not as volatile as the second half of the time there. We have fought throughout the course of our M but the frequency/intensity escalated in the last half. And then as I had openly voiced the concern/question that with her being perpetually unhappy I feared that she would high tail it out of our M as soon as her college degree was in her hand. I believe I voiced that concern roughly 1 yr prior to her finishing school. And she roundly denied that she would walk away like that. If I remember correctly she spoke in very reassuring tones and made it clear that in spite of all the fighting she truly loved me and I should put to rest any feelings to the contrary. Then with my birthday fast approaching and in her last couple of weeks of classes before finally crossing the finish line for a very well earned degree. I returned fm a weekend visit to my parents a couple hrs away and boy was there ever a birthday surprise awaiting me. Not just a "we need to talk and I feel it is best for us to separate now". But she did it in fine fashion. She invited her mother over our place during my brief absence and the two of them packed up just about everything that wasn't nailed down, placed in to in a U-haul and drove it around the corner to a storage center. She decided to break the news gently to me, as she downed several glasses of wine in rapid sucession, by having me take her out to eat on my b-day instead of having me drive straight to the scene of the crime. What a birthday!
That is my attempt at a brief synopsis leading to Sep#1. Brevity and me don't get along. But it's not trying to divorce me and I will keep trying to do better at that too.
I will try to in a bit less longwinded fashion explain some of the details leading to Sep#2 another time.
I love the LOVE talked about by Paul in I Corinthians 13. That's what I am looking for.
