Question for you... has your H been sleeping on the couch the entire time you were piecing? Had things gotten better than worse, or did they never really get back on track from the get go. Identifying this might help in the piecing process. =================================================== No, until summer, when the first bomb hit (not counting when I found out about the A after it was over the year he came back). So 06 was good, we were together until summer of 07 when I found otu about their PA, then he slept downstairs and turns into a zombie, we dont ML, are live as strangers. Around xmas I went to her house, he seems repentant truly and comes back to sleep w/me, then I found out about he phone and their ongoing contact, sleeps 1 night with me, 2 night later we separate.
Have to let this out for a bit. He did break it off, brought stuff back he loan her bfore xmas, but felt so bad for "ruining her xmas" he calls her, she somehows gets him hooked again and he I guess remains spineless to cut it and on it goes. Had he not call her during xmas would things be ok now? part of me wants to say yes, but also, a man who wants his M and with any sense would not have let it go as far as getting a phone to call her to make sure "she is ok". Have to remind myself constantly about the many times he's disrespected me and put me aside, why we are S, he now has plenty of time and space to think, dont' want to be with him just becuase he is lonely but because he wants me in his life and wants us together and happy.
Phew.... feeling mostly good, here and there i falter and miss the little things, a touch, knowing someone is home.
We have to tell s9 tomorrow, that is making me real sad. Today I told him his dad would take him out next sunday, he cheered, I asked him why and he said "since he stared his job we've barely seen him". I was not expecting that since he barely mentions his father during the week. This whole weekend the kids didn't even ask for him, we always have lunch on Sat and for the past month he's been off Sunday, the kids didn't notice...or perhaps they thought he was working. I was trying to fool myself into believing s9 wouldn't mind too much, that it wont be so hard on him. I pray we tell him the right way, that I stop looking so damn streessed sad now and then, it was only 1x but s9 asked me tonight why I looked stressed, I can't make him believe that it is hopeless and horrible, I have to be stronger for him.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
