Here are my last 2 posts - just to avoid having to jump back and forth:
Hey all - thanks for posting!
OT Still mulling over your posts - thank you again for your thoughts.
ST On the ICs, yep, I think seeing a bad one is even more damaging than not seeing one at all. I had hoped to eventually find one on my insurance list that would be good, but lack of success there is leading me not to go at all which isn't good! Even if I can only afford once a month or something that would be better to get a good one.
Michelle If you ever do get to the point of needing an MC again I can recommend a really good one for ya! Expensive ($115/session) but she is excellent. Michele Weiner-Davis (the writer of DR) actually recommended her to me when I asked for a recommendation in my area. Her focus isn't exactly a DB/DR type of approach - but she's very much solution oriented, focus on the future, actual techniques to implement in your life, etc. And she got my H to talk which is a monumental feat all on its own!
Hope your final went well this morning. It was so great to see you last night, sorry we didn't get to visit more!! I had a blast but kept feeling like I didn't get enough time to hang out with everyone individually (always the way with parties, though). Hope you had fun! Too bad you had to leave for finals.. we broke out the disco ball and dance music around 11:00 or so.. . Only a handful of people were still here at that point but we had fun.
Oh, and I REALLY hope "K-Fed" didn't freak you out too much. He's nuts, as I'm sure you could tell , but he's harmless. Believe it or not that was him being relatively mellow. Totally funny, he and H got back from wherever they went at 2:30 AM and he was STILL talking about you, but then said "But damn, she kept flashin' that ring at me like some kinda 'I'm married' beacon so I guess that's not going anywhere." (like it was anyway right??? ). If you read my post about last weekend and the guy who was out with the girls and they were all talking about cheating (meanwhile his GF was at home waiting for him) - I'm sure it will come as no surprise, that was the same guy!!
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Had a lot of fun at the party last night!! I was getting all antsy/nervous around 4:00 or so because I always get the "what if no one shows up" jitters. The organizer came about an hour early and people started arriving even BEFORE the official 7:00 start time though so that was cool. H decided to stick around for awhile and I was kinda nervous how that would go. A few people were visibly very surprised to hear my introduce "my H, [name]" - shook his hand while giving me an "oh really???" kinda look. They all or mostly know I'm married but I think since no one's ever seen him and I rarely talk about him they weren't too sure what was going on (these groups are my refuge from all the 'stuff' so don't talk about it a lot).
I think around 20 people showed up - perfect!! Good sized group so there are lots of different people to talk to, but not so many that it's packed in the house. I think H was rather surprised how many guys showed up. He was actually doing pretty good for awhile - being fairly social and stuff, and then all of a sudden just looked VERY uncomfortable. Came over and told me "This is too weird for me" and went to the neighbor's house for awhile. I actually kinda had more fun after he left - before that I was anxious and trying to help him feel "included" and such (especially when he started getting quiet). Was kinda proud of myself though because I only tried to "fix" it for a little while, then realized, it was a very friendly group and no one was excluding him - he was doing it himself, so not my job to worry about it!
He came back after awhile but mostly stayed out in the garage - some of the guys from the party went out to check out his car and stuff so that was pretty cool. Then his friend (now known as "K-Fed") came in and asked me if he could get a beer. I probably should've just gotten it for him but I was on my way to do something else so I told him sure and he could go get it - which required him to go through the whole crowd in the bar/game room area. I have no idea what he said to them but I know they were all wondering who the heck this guy was! He stopped and talked to a few of us on his way back out the garage and one of the women in the game room yelled "Hey K-Fed" to him (he looks somewhat like Kevin Federline) then they all kind of cheered at him, it was hilarious!! Then he decided he REAALLLY liked Michelle (as noted above). Got a little obnoxious but not TOO bad (I hope...). Later in the evening when it was just the small group of us left he was the talk of the party, it was pretty funny. A few people thought he was H's SON!! This is one of the guys he hangs out with all the time when he's in "teenybopper" mode, so that definitely made me laugh.
Had a lot of fun with the smaller group that stayed later too - just nice to be able to talk to everyone and not be pulled too many directions! Most of them left around midnight but one other friend stayed til 2:15 or so - was really nice to catch up with her.
They "nominated" me to host another party soon so I may just do that!
Gotta go clean now..:) .. but hope everyone's having a good Saturday! --------------------------------------------------
Oh.. I nearly forgot two funny H related things I was going to mention.
One really weird thing is of all the people there who I knew (about 1/2), most of them knew at least somewhat about my sitch (of course Michelle you know a LOT more about it.. but most of them know at minimum about the separation and the rollercoaster I've been on). Only one had ever met H before. People kept asking me about it - "Does he live here?" and stuff like that. But H's friend ("K-Fed") has NO idea about the sitch at all. He constantly tells me how wonderful my H is, how great I am, how lucky we are to be M'd to each other, etc. Definitely saw a few people scratching their heads when he said a couple things like that last night.
We talked a bit about the party last night when H and K-Fed got home (I was starting to clean up a bit and he was laughing that the disco ball was on and asked me some about how the rest of the night went). I told him a bit about who stayed and when people left and such. This morning, out of nowhere, H said "I'm surprised some of the guys didn't stay later. There were a lot of pretty women who came, and that one guy was single right?" (yes he emphasized the "one"). I asked which one he meant and said that yeah he was single - then I said "Actually I think the only one who WASN'T single was Tom." H gave me a really funny look and said "Oh..wow.. well, I'm even more surprised they didn't stay longer." (I actually think they would have but they went from relaxed/hanging out to "hurry up and leave" as soon as the organizer left - think they were maybe uncomfortable knowing H might come home)
H has been halfway talking about having a party soon - we used to do 2-3 big 'blowout' parties every year and haven't done one in a long time for obvious reasons. He has mentioned it a few times though recently. What I'd LOVE to see (depending on how things are going in our sitch of course) is a party where - gasp! - we have BOTH of our "sets" of friends here. In the past he'd always invite everyone from work and such so I'd have a houseful of people and know maybe 1/4 of them - and NONE of them were really "my" friends. Think that'd be a lot of fun.
--------------------------------------- And how could I forget? OT - the choco dipped strawberries turned out GREAT - thanks for the idea!!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
. What I'd LOVE to see (depending on how things are going in our sitch of course) is a party where - gasp! - we have BOTH of our "sets" of friends here. In the past he'd always invite everyone from work and such so I'd have a houseful of people and know maybe 1/4 of them - and NONE of them were really "my" friends. Think that'd be a lot of fun.
Hey Could I come to the next one??
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Sure!! Heck you coulda come last night too, kind of a long drive for wine and cheese though..
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Just had to share... I took my "halfway through treatment" tooth progress pictures and I am SO excited with how they're doing.
Edited - personal photos not allowed.
The first one was taken in October 07 (my "sanity trip" to Sonoma), and the second one I just took this weekend. Kicking myself for waiting so long to get them fixed, but I can't believe how fast they are changing now!
I had a blast at the party. Can't wait for the next one!
Those chocolate covered strawberries were awesome!
It was nice to meet your H however briefly. Seems like a good weekend, him planning a party sounds like a huge positive step for your stitch. Those "we" things are so promising.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Wow Nik, I can't believe the teeth get straightened that fast.
Im glad that the party went so well and I hope your H comes around enough to host one soon. It will be a huge babystep if he feels comfortable enough to do that. Im still waiting for the dust to settle and see ohow H really is doing.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Michelle Thanks!! Glad you had fun. And kudos again to OT for the strawberries idea.
Yep, I definitely like the mention of those "we" things.. never realized how much those meant until they were gone for a long time.
JAK I know, crazy eh? I guess braces would've taken twice as long, according to my dentist.
Sorry you're still having a rough time in your sitch. I hope things calm down soon so you can do more "evaluating" with less chaos going on. --------------------------
Not much new here... it's finally sunny and I am SOOO glad. It was cold, rainy, and cloudy for so many days in a row. Last weekend I seriously considered getting in the car and just driving until I got somewhere warm and sunny! (then realized how FAR that would be ).
This weekend we have a race in Sonoma. H has been getting ready all weekend/week so that's been fun. It's going to be weird to be so close to the downtown/plaza area and not go visit!
Hopefully have bellydance class tonight. Two weeks ago I got there and the clubhouse had apparently been rented out for something else. THAT was embarassing - I walk up in my workout clothes and with my hip scarf jingling away - get to the door and realize the place is PACKED with people (who all look towards the door, of course) . She must have sent out a cancellation because I was the only one who showed up, but I didn't get it for some reason. Last week traffic was so bad I couldn't get to class - frustrating! So keeping my fingers crossed for tonight. I miss it.
We have some friends coming over for dinner later this week, which I'm excited about. We get to meet their new baby, and I like this couple a lot as well. It's also a REALLY good thing M wise. In the past H always liked having people just "drop by" but it drove me insane never knowing if I was cooking dinner for 2 people or 10. We never handled it very well - had we talked it out I'm sure we could have come to a compromise but instead I flipped out, he quit inviting people over, and resented me for it. (I obliviously thought "Hey great, he quit surprising me with dinner guests!"). It came up in one of our few MC sessions. We agreed a better approach would have been for me to explain why it frustrated me and ask for a compromise where we still have people over but plan it a little more in advance; MC asked H if he felt that was reasonable and he said yes. Of course at that time it was in the context of "What should have happened but now it's too little, too late."
So, it's a pretty big deal to me that he feels comfortable having people over (especially since he avoids all his "older" friends/family when he's in his more down phases). And even better that he handled it the way we talked about in our MC session.
Off to vote and enjoy a little sun before work!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
hey, remember I mentioned the mascara, I bet using an eyelash curler would really help bring out your eyelashes.
and are your eyes really THAT brown? that is a really pretty color.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
oh, will you tell me what it is your using for your teeth? my H's has a really prominent teeth sticking out that has gotten worse over the years and he really wants to do something, but not like braces., and are they really expensive? thanks!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Yep - they are really that color - and aww thank you!! I always wanted to get those color contacts because I didn't like my brown eyes. For some reason since the bomb (maybe part of my self-esteem boosting efforts?) I really like them now!
Ohh yeah I have one of those eyelash curlers, I should look for that. Good idea! Thanks.
On my teeth - I am using Invisalign to straighten them. I'll email ya with more information about it (unless anyone else wants to know more too).
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
. Only a handful of people were still here at that point but we had fun. 
). If you read my post about last weekend and the guy who was out with the girls and they were all talking about cheating (meanwhile his GF was at home waiting for him) - I'm sure it will come as no surprise, that was the same guy!! 
He was actually doing pretty good for awhile - being fairly social and stuff, and then all of a sudden just looked VERY uncomfortable. Came over and told me "This is too weird for me" and went to the neighbor's house for awhile. I actually kinda had more fun after he left - before that I was anxious and trying to help him feel "included" and such (especially when he started getting quiet). Was kinda proud of myself though because I only tried to "fix" it for a little while, then realized, it was a very friendly group and no one was excluding him - he was doing it himself, so not my job to worry about it! 
. She must have sent out a cancellation because I was the only one who showed up, but I didn't get it for some reason. Last week traffic was so bad I couldn't get to class - frustrating! So keeping my fingers crossed for tonight. I miss it.